Sunday, May 12, 2013

Lovehoney Flash USB Rechargeable Vibrator... Part 2

Have you ever had one of those moments when you're in the middle of, say, ringing a customer up at your place of work ("yes, that rabbit is ok for that price range, I can show it out of the box if you'd like") and your eyes probably glaze over as you go elsewhere and your brain drops the realization upon you that you missed some mildly important things in that review you posted last week? ("Shit, I didn't talk at all about what the vibrator actually does, just how it performs!").

Well, in between cramps and calls from a lady who I think was trying to get me to give her an item she didn't buy ("yes, I bought a Bree Olson Vibrator and It Isn't In My Bag?") exactly this happened to me. What a coincidence. Thankfully I gave the couple buying that pink monstrosity the correct change.

Welcome to Part Two of my Lovehoney Flash Review. This part doesn't come with the cool personal story about how I discovered the internal workings of my clitoris (not to be confused with an Inner Goddess*, mind you), but I will explain, briefly, what you get in technical terms when you buy the Lovehoney Flash USB Rechargeable Vibrator. 

As the name suggests, The Flash is a rechargeable vibrator that charges using any USB port- whether it's in your computer, or that thing you plug in to your wall to recharge your iPod- as long as  you have a port for a normally sized USB, you should be golden. The Flash comes in a somewhat flimsy box with little explanation about the actual workings of the vibrator. It's hard plastic with a "velvet finish" except for the silicone tip, which is shaped kind of like the first two digits of a crooked finger, and has a white silicone-like button that is oriented towards the body. The velvet finish hard plastic handle unplugs from the silicone vibrating portion to reveal the USB port; only the handle plugs in, not the vibrating portion- if someone doesn't know about this product in particular, they will never be able to tell that it isn't a just a flash drive of some sort if you plug it into your computer. It helps that it will not vibrate unless it is plugged in to the silicone vibrating portion.

The Flash has six functions: 3 speeds and 3 pulsation patterns. The speed patterns confuse me a lot; there is no obvious increase or decrease in speed across them. The second 'speed' is a lower frequency than the first when you listen to it and has a deeper vibration, which is why I generally start with that. The third is seemingly stronger than the first, but the second seems less strong than the first. The pulsation patterns are exceedingly simple, but the first is somewhat unique in what I've seen and I really enjoy it: the best way to explain it is that it accelerates and is kind of pulsing while accelerating, it plateaus for a moment, and then it decelerates in the same pulsing fashion. The second setting is a typical, consistent pulse, and the third is pulsations in series of four, with a short rest in between each set of four.

The flash, for me, has been comfortable to use during intercourse but my partner purposefully positions us so we aren't sandwiched together- generally propping my bum up with some pillows or blankets. This may be a more comfortable way to try using a smaller vibrator during intercourse.

My biggest complaint function-wise about the Flash is that there is no indication of if it needs to charge, no indication of how long it needs to charge or if it's done charging... To be fair, it holds a charge for a good period of time; I haven't had it die on me yet and I've had it for a few weeks, and have only charged it for any period of time right after I got it- which ended up being a good idea because it apparently wasn't completely charged (I noticed a marked difference in the volume of the vibration and the strength after charging it).

As I mentioned in Part 1, the Flash is buzzy. It can be kind of loud. The best practice I've found for using it is pressing it firmly against my clitoris, which eliminates the buzzyness (the silicone tip visibly moves when vibrating, so I think that's what the buzzy sensation derives from).

In any case, there you have it. The Lovehoney Flash USB Rechargeable Vibrator.

*"Inner Goddess" is basically what Anastasia Steele, the 'heroine' in E.L. James' "Fifty Shades" Series, calls her vagina. I kid you not. It also does Salsa. 

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