Silicone Part One: Is It Right For You?

Lelo Gigi Vibrator (Pink/White), Fun Factory Booty Butt Plug (Black), Tantus Little Flirt Butt Plug (Copper), Laid P.3 Cockring (Blue) | all silicone, all fantastic.

I may be new in the review world (this blog is only about 3 months old as of this writing!) but I have been working in this industry for almost a year now (my adult store anniversary is the same as my birthday- May 1st) and have been researching almost as long. The whole purpose of this blog was to disseminate all of the information clogging up my brain and coming out randomly at strangers and friends. Though I may not be 100% right all of the time (and I welcome critique and offerings of related research) and I am definitely still learning- I have put a lot of energy and time into trying to get the right information for my customers and my readers. 

I hope over the next few months to have some educational posts mixed in with my reviews- I'll go over materials, how to care for those materials and know whether or not a product is quality, and list some reputable manufacturers using those materials. I also hope to go over the less desirable materials- in effect, creating a sort of guide to the adult product world I've been a part of for awhile now, giving my readers the insider information that I try to give to as many customers as possible so they can make an informed decision. I take my job and sex toys very seriously; yes, they should be for fun, and yes, they are a lot of fun, but there's a lot of misinformation out there: some manufacturers will downright lie to you, and you might end up with a product that isn't so great. You could end up having a reaction to chemicals leaching from a toy and have no idea what's going on or that the sex toy even caused it. Though there are more companies- manufacturers and retailers, mainly- starting to inform the customers what's going on, many aren't taking any responsibility claiming that it's not their problem if someone has used something wrong and gotten hurt in some way; they mark their products as "novelty only" to escape any sort of liability. This is not ok. It's not alright. I do not approve, and I want to help change this. 

Of the materials you'll find sex toys made out of, Silicone is the softest of the non-porous* materials currently on the market- depending on the company or the specific product, it may be stiff or very pliant. For example, Lelo's vibrators are hard plastic coated with silicone and therefore are not particularly soft. Tantus, however, has toys that are silicone through and through, and you can bend them around. Bad Dragon has toys that are very squishy to firm but still pretty squishy. Unfortunately, since silicone has become so popular, it's common to find products that claim to be silicone but are in fact just a mix, meaning that they are not pure silicone and therefore still porous. Keep in mind that the sex toy industry isn't regulated by anyone, and they can claim "hypoallergenic" "phthalate free" and "platinum silicone" all they want without it having anything to do with reality. In the following post, I'll explain how to care for silicone, how to tell if something is pure silicone or not, and list some reputable companies currently in existence. I would highly recommend researching different manufacturers, if at all possible visiting an adult store where you can see and touch products so you know what their texture is like and what their functions are, and investing in a silicone product; it will last you a lifetime if properly cared for.

*Non-porous materials are ideal; porous materials harbor dirt and bacteria that cannot be removed under any circumstances and therefore cannot be completely sterilized. I personally recommend non-porous materials over porous materials; though there are ways to protect porous toys so they last a little longer, I view it as an unnecessary hassle- and though non-porous products tend to be more expensive, they last a lot longer and therefore end up saving you money in the long run if that's what you're concerned about. Porous toys also tend to have chemicals in them which may leach out and cause an allergic reaction of some sort. I'll go over this more in my post about porous toys.

Coming up are a few things about silicone: look out for my post about caring for silicone as well as lube considerations, flame testing, and a list of reputable companies. I'm still hoping to make some illustrations for those posts, and have a little tweaking to do, but you should see them over the next week or two.

Bad Dragon Breeder: Why I Love This Unusual Dildo

Breeder featuring Lelo Gigi, Sliquid Organics Gel, and The Best Water Bottle Ever.

Bad Dragon products are not for everyone: they serve a very specific niche market with their fantasy dildos and masturbation sleeves. Amongst their products you'll find dragons, cockatrices, stallions, dragonesses, anthro huskies, and more. Though I don't fit into their specific niche market (I don't fantasize about dragons, stallions, or any of the other fantasy characters they have amongst their ranks) my Bad Dragon Breeder is by far my favorite dildo. This isn't too much of a feat, since I only have two- but I'm not sure that I'll find another silicone dildo that's anything like this, at least not from another company.

I'd like to say before I get into this that I find nothing wrong with the specific fantasy Bad Dragon is catering to; I've known people that would love Bad Dragon products for what they are and I personally believe that everyone should be able to safely practice whatever their fantasy is (so long as their fantasy involves informed consent) without stigma. Human sexuality is a multi-faceted and complicated thing that we should celebrate. For those of you who may be interested in Bad Dragon for the fantasy they provide, please look past my calls to mainstream folks to try these products; there is still information for you here, I'm just trying to speak from my own experience and encourage others like myself to be interested in these fantastic products. If any of this ends up being accidentally offensive, I apologize, and please email me to let me know so I can change my wording.

The thing that makes Bad Dragon products so unique is the customization available to you: you get to choose from 3 densities, generally 3 or even 4 size options, whether or not it has a suction cup, and you get to choose the color. They have Toy Exclusive Colors, Standard Colors, and Custom Colorations available. Mine has a custom pink/orange/yellow fade and it is gorgeous, if I do say so myself. I've seen pictures of some that are rainbow, which are beautiful. I eventually plan on ordering a product with rainbow coloration from them.

Mini next to it's full-size counterpart. 

My Breeder is medium density, medium size, and as mentioned, a pink-orange-yellow coloration. I also got three sample disks of the different densities (a normal order would just have a disk of your products' density so you can test lubricants on it, unless you order a Sample Pack), an awesome pen, and a mini version of my product.

The reason I love this product is the squishiness of it; there's nothing quite like it on the market that's silicone. The closest products I know of are the Tantus O2 dual density toys or Vixen Vixskin dual densities- but they have an outer layer of squishy (in the case of tantus, dimethicone) silicone and a core of firmer silicone which gives a more "realistic" feel. In the case of my bad dragon toy, its one density through and through- though you can get them so they have a base that's the higher density and the rest of the toy is soft or other variations depending on the product. Looking at the sample disks, I'd say the soft density is about on par with many jelly rubber toys in terms of squishiness.

Why is this fantastic? Not everyone wants a stiff silicone dildo. I get people in the store all the time saying they want a non-porous option that is comparable to jelly rubber because they find stiffer silicones to be uncomfortable.

A pussy and some dildos. Here you can see the Breeder, the Magnum Stubbs, Gigi, Laid P.3 cockring, and
Sliquid Organics Gel in the background. 

The two dildos I have right now could not be more different. The Breeder is squishy, highly textured, and curvy. My Fun Factory Magnum Stubbs is dense, smooth silicone which I find to be very uncomfortable vaginally. The reason the Magnum Stubbs is uncomfortable is because it doesn't actually squeak, but it feels like it's squeaking, if that makes sense. The smooth surface doesn't do anything for me besides feel weird, and because it's so hard my PC muscles stretch too much and push it out when I get too close to my vaginal opening with it.

The Breeder, on the other hand- though it is girthier than the Magnum Stubbs, is very comfortable and pleasant to use, mainly because it's squishier but also because of the texture. The texture is not readily apparent on the whole of the dildo; the curve is felt against my g-spot but only the fourth ridge is very apparent to me.

My partner is a cheese monger and I try lots of fantastic cheeses, so I'm thinking of it almost in those terms: a good cheese will have a succession of flavors, textures, and smells. Some will be very apparent, others will be background notes. This dildo is complex like a good cheese: Upon first penetration, it bumps against my g-spot and I squeeze it. The first three ridges aren't apparent, but I'm positive I feel them in the background, and the fourth ridge is very apparent, like a second kick of flavor. The dildo is, unfortunately, too long for my vagina- I can only fit up to the fourth ridge. However, this has not been an issue; the thin part below the bulge is very comfortable to hold on to while thrusting, and putting the bulge in the palm of my hand and curling my fingers around the thinner base makes it very ergonomic.

Don't let the sink fool you. This perspective makes the toy look a lot smaller than it actually is, but the
color just looked so fabulous in this lighting that I couldn't help myself. 

I generally use it with the 'pereneal raphe'- a series of bumps up the middle of one side of the product, similar to the line running up the underside of a human penis- facing upwards because I like how it feels better that way (it has a slight s curve to it, and with the line facing upwards, the end is curving upwards and hitting my g spot) and my partner reports the same for his his use- using it with the curve towards the front of his body means that it hits his prostate better.

Most 'main stream' people are really disinterested in things like the Bad Dragon products as soon as they see the renderings of the characters associated with each product- but as far as I'm concerned, they're fantastic quality, highly customizable, and there is nothing quite like them on the market. I'd recommend them to anyone who has had issues with firmer density silicone or has been looking for something that's soft and non-porous. I feel that the mainstream proclivity to stigmatize that which they don't understand gets in the way of more people enjoying these fantastic toys.

As far as I'm concerned, my Breeder is just a very interesting and very comfortable textured dildo, and anyone who would see it (I show my sex toys to pretty much everyone, and only get away with it because most of my friends are co-workers or at least open minded) who does not know the origin of the toy would just see a non-realistic textured toy with some realistic elements. I don't really think of my dildo as a dragon (though I will admit that when I tried it in my new Spare Parts Joque Harness, I strutted around proclaiming something along the lines of "all hail my dragon cock") and I think that's just fine.

Bottom line: if you're having issues with firmer silicone dildos but want to have a non-porous toy, one of these may be right for you. Consider getting their $6 Sample Set, which comes with the disks of their different densities, so you can see just how squishy these are. The Breeder is a fantastic place to start- The medium isn't really that intimidating at 10 inches in length, and the small is around average penis size with an overall length of 7 inches. If you're interested in the fantasy aspect, awesome- if not, I'd ask you to try and think about these products differently.

Words of Caution: Bad Dragon products are safe to store with other bad dragon products, but may not be safe to store with other kinds of silicone. I haven't tried. As far as I'm aware, Sliquid Silver silicone lubricant is not compatible with this product. I've tried putting it on the medium density disk and it coagulated. I am not sure if other silicone lubricants are compatible because I don't currently have others to test with it.

Bad Dragon supplied me with this product for an honest review, and this is my honest opinion. 

Thanks, Bad Dragon, for being awesome! 

Currently in Testing:

I'm thinking I'll make this a staple of the blog: those who follow me on twitter see pictures and thoughts on items I've received, but the blog doesn't hear much until the actual review is out. Depending on how often I get new items for review, you'll get a sneak preview with pictures and thoughts.

What I have in testing right now is the Tantus Little Flirt in Copper (currently in their Closeout section for only $15!), a Crystal Delights Plug, and White Hemp Rope from the Bedroom Bondage collection at Lovehoney. 

First up is the Tantus Little Flirt. I was lucky enough to score this 100% Pure Silicone plug for under $20. Seriously, I say it all the time: check out Tantus' closeout section. It will improve the quality of your life.

In the various pictures of the Little Flirt to be seen above, you can see it in it's packaging, by itself, and with some other toys (Lelo Gigi, and the Fun Factory Booty and Laid P.3 Cockring which haven't been reviewed yet because they belong to my partner- he got toys before I did, because I'm nice and like giving him presents. There will be reviews eventually). There's also a picture of it with the Crystal Delights Plug below.

Thus far, I've only used the Little Flirt once. I'm new to anal toys, and as excited as I am about these new additions, they're still intimidating to me. Insertion was ridiculously easy with a little Sliquid Organics Gel, and the sensation was different but not unpleasant. I used the Gigi in tandem and my butt spit it out when I reached climax. I'm assuming this is normal, especially considering how smooth this toy is.

The Little flirt came in a completely discreet box- no one would have known what was going on if I hadn't told everyone and showed it off, because that's how I roll. It doesn't even say Tantus anywhere on the address, so unless other people have memorized their address like I have (creepy, I know- but in my defense, I have sent them something via mail and I tend to memorize things like phone numbers and addresses without really trying) no one will have any idea.

Next up is the Crystal Delights Plug. This beautiful borosilicate glass plug can be described as eye candy, shiny, ooooooh, ahhhh, and pretty. Words are not enough for the in-life beauty of the thing. I can't stop taking pictures of it- it is definitely the most photogenic of my collection.

I haven't used this one yet, but my partner has used all three of the anal toys we have and it seems his bum greatly prefers glass to either silicone toy. He'll be co-reviewing this one with me (and probably the other anal toys) so look forward to that.

I don't know what shipping is like; Shelly herself stopped by my store to drop this off to me. I really appreciate the gesture, and loved meeting her- it was great to show her around our little store and talk about adult products and glass and all sorts of other things. I look forward to be able to meeting her again in the future.

The toy comes with a storage pouch which is certainly beautiful, as well- you can see part of the quilted interior in the second solo picture of it. The black silky material has a pocket for the toy and you then roll it up and secure with elastic loops- the layers of fabric protecting the toy inside. It also included a product card certifying that it's authentic, includes a product ID# and the month in which it was inspected. Shelly explained to me that it's so people know it's a genuine product, and because apparently in Asia genuine US Handcrafted products are greatly sought after- including the product card helps assure buyers that they're getting the real deal.

Last but not least (though this is the newest addition to my collection, so there aren't really pictures of this yet) is the White Hemp Bondage Rope from Lovehoney's Bedroom Bondage line. 

Packaging was discreet and it arrived soon after I was told it was being sent to me. Upon opening it, I was transported back to my childhood; this rope smells strongly of earthiness and well, barns- it reminds me strongly of the various barns I explored as a child- our neighbor's, that of family friends. A slight kerosene smell is below the earthiness and the smell of the actual fiber, not sure if that's a coincidence or has something to do with a treatment applied to the rope. 

We unraveled it yesterday and it's really quite long- stretches almost from our kitchen in the back of the house to the front of the house (not that that's a particular feat- out house is a Philly row house and not very large)! According to the product info, it's 10 Meters long. 

I haven't used this one yet (been under the weather), but I really like the scent memory it holds for me and the material seems soft yet sturdy. Looking forward to playing with this! It's the first 'bondage' addition to my collection, so exploring it's possibilities will be interesting. I feel like we should get a book on Shibari... 

Time to break up The Toy Box?

In response to my blog post about choosing materials, caring for your toys, and ultimately disposing of them the other day, someone on twitter asked me what should be done with a toy or toys when you've just ended a relationship.

As then mentioned by another person on twitter, it's kind of a sticky situation (they intended the pun).

In terms of who gets what, if you had bought the toys together or as presents for one another, is kind of between you and your partner(s)- or your lawyers. I suppose some people go that route during a divorce. I'm sure it gets more complicated when we're talking about Lelo's $3900 gold-plated Yva (which, by the by, I have seen in real life. It isn't better at its job than the hard plastic or silicone versions, the Nea and the Lily; but I'm sure people buy them because either a. they have way too much money on their hands or b. they have an obsession with feeling like they're King Midas) than when we're talking about a string of $4 anal beads.

When it comes to "should I keep this or should I dispose of it?" I can really only give answers in terms of sanitation. It really comes down to whether or not the toy or toys had been used by your partner and was porous. So, that jelly-rubber butt plug? Send it to be recycled. The stainless steel butt plug? You can boil that for complete sanitation and hold on to it, if you want. Here's a roundup of what materials you should keep and which you should at least consider throwing out.

Keepers: Basically, anything that's non-porous as they can be sanitized.

• Hard Plastic
• 100% Pure Silicone (you can test this using the flame test, which is demonstrated beautifully here)
• Metal, such as Aluminum or Stainless Steel 
• Glass
• Ceramic
• Stone 

Toss 'Em: porous toys that had been used by or on your partner, which may contain bacteria. 

• Jelly Rubber, TPR, TPE, Silagel, Real Skin, Cyberskin, etc- any soft porous material used to make sex toys. 
• Leather and Pleather items- more specifically, any toy that has been inserted or frequently touching the exterior of the anus or vagina, been salivated on, been bled on. I wouldn't suggest keeping a harness that can't be machine washed. 
• Clothing that can't be washed- some lingerie is too delicate to sterilize. One way to gently sterilize non-bleachable items is to soak them with a vinegar/water solution (maybe 1:10 ratio vinegar to water) and then hand wash them. 
• Miscellaneous play toys that are hard to clean- this can be pretty much anything. It could even be something that's non-porous, but difficult to sterilize completely. If it has been used anally, vaginally, been near either, bled on, or salivated on (essentially, if any bodily fluids have touched the item, though urine isn't as big a deal since it's sterile)- you should think for awhile about whether or not you think it's clean or can be completely cleaned. 

The reason I'm so serious about bodily fluids touching or being trapped in toys here is that it can pass on bacterial and yeast infections (Everyone has their own micro-environment inside of them- in your gut, underarms, on your skin, everywhere- and if you're female-bodied, in your vagina, there are little groups of symbiotic bacteria that help you digest food and keep your body healthy. We couldn't survive without them, but depending on where you live, where your parents are from, and a lot of other factors, your bacteria are tailored to you. Swapping bacteria with other people can be harmful, though adding new bacteria to your gut through eating fermented foods can be really good for you. It's a really complex system). If your partner had an STD or STI, it could be transferred through contact with the toy. It's really better to be safe than sorry when it comes to sharing toys (if they're porous, it is generally recommended you use a condom, if they're non-porous, you should sterilize them if they're being used between more than one person or even more than one orifice on the same person), and if you have a porous item that came in contact with any of a previous partner's bodily fluids, it's just a better idea to get rid of them. 

I have no answers in terms of the emotional aspects sex toys can have- for many people, toys that they've used with a partner are irrevocably associated with them. It's really up to you- maybe put the toys that are safe to keep away for awhile and re-visit them after you feel you've moved on. If they still don't feel 'right' consider handing them off to a consenting friend (only with non-porous, sterilized toys, please! Let them know that the toy has been used but can be completely sterilized before you try to give it to them) or sending them to be recycled. A bunch of different options are outlined in my previous post about materials, care, and disposal.