Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I'll say this once: I do not have to use every Toy in my store to know whether or not they're 'good'

Frequently at work someone will ask me about a toy and I'll tell them what I know about it: the material it's made out of, whether or not it's strong, how well it's made, etc- and then they'll ask me if I've ever used it.

Seeing as I have only ever used one of the toys that we sell (the Lelo Gigi), there's a high chance that I haven't. However, I have more likely than not taken it out of the packaging, put batteries in it or charged it, and seen the intensity of vibrations or what have you. I can tell you, as someone who does this four days out of the week, whether or not it fits what you're looking for based on your price point and other stated needs.

Sometimes people understand this.

Other times, they don't.

Last night, I had a group of three women, all of whom were tipsy, one of whom was almost-falling-over-drunk come into the store. One asked me a lot of questions about toys, and the drunkest of the group kept on interjecting into the conversation to ask whether or not I had used the toys being asked about, and when I said no, saying something along the lines of "see, she can't help us, she ain't know what she talking about" and nodding knowingly at her friends while looking at me with condescension, while almost pulling down a display and almost knocking over others.

It eventually got to the point where she was practically yelling at me that I wasn't "Freak Enough" and shouldn't be working in the store because I wasn't, in her eyes, an expert.

Had I been having a logical and calm debate with this woman (I didn't bother to more than shrug, sell them the items they wanted, and patiently wait for them to leave the store as it was a 'Leave the bee alone and it will leave you alone' situation), these were the points I would have made for my argument on why I didn't need to personally use all the toys in the store to be able to help them:

1. Firstly, does anyone expect every retail salesperson in any store to have used all of their products? Do you go into Gamestop expecting the sales rep to have played all the games? No, of course not. Maybe that sales rep only has certain consoles and only likes a certain kind of game. They can tell you based on reviews and customer input what might work out for you though when you tell them what you're looking for.

2. Everyone's body is different. No two people experience pleasure in exactly the same way. Therefore, something I like may not be something someone else likes, and vice versa. This is something I tell people all the time and try to keep in mind when recommending products.

3. Not all of the things in the store are applicable to me, for many reasons. I don't have a penis, so things like fleshlights and cockrings don't really work out for me. Currently, I prefer external, clitoral stimulation when it comes to vibrators, so most other vibrators aren't something I'm interested in. I'm very particular about chemicals, so only two or three of the many lubes we have are something I'd even consider using, and I won't use any jelly rubber toys, 'phthalate-free' or not, because of possible chemical interaction with my body and because of the porous nature of the toys. Beyond all that, I have a very high standard for any product I buy, and I'll readily admit that.

Therefore, 60%-80% of the products in the store are not applicable to me or something I will not use because of personal preferences.

However, that doesn't mean I can't give you a recommendation after asking you a few questions (usually things like "What's the price range you're looking in?" "do you have a specific kind of toy or product in mind?" "What kind of stimulation do you prefer?" and "is there anything you've heard of or thought might be interesting to try out?") and determining what would be best for your needs as you state them. I know quite a lot more about our products than your average individual.

TL;DR: people are irrational and a pain in the ass in my store sometimes, and it can be annoying. Thankfully, there are also really fantastic customers with about the same regularity as the really awful ones, so they make up for it.

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